Today is my due date for our third child...By this day we should have a little tiny baby to love and hold. Dealing with two miscarriages has made me realize that I suffer in silence. Most women with infertility issues do. People forget and move on...as they should, but we are left with a broken heart wishing things were different. There is no away to avoid it, no way around it...it is always there. I have 3 women that I know that were due with in 2 weeks of me. They have had their babies, it's another reminder that I will not have mine to hold...not on this earth. I know that there is reasons I have lost these babies...it doesn't take away the pain I feel inside. I know there will come a day that I will see those sweet faces...I cannot wait for that day!
It is so hard to explain to a young child why we lost our baby. Time after time she asks "when will it be our turn to have a baby?" What do you say to that? I know at times her heart hurts too. I am thankful for my sweet Addie, she brings so much joy and love to our home.
I hope and pray someday the Lord will bless us with a baby, until then I would love for Him to hold my broken heart.
8 comments:
I'm so sorry. I know it's hard, and it sucks. I'm not going to give you the "it'll get better" or "it all happens for a reason", because those always made me angry. Just know that I love you and I'm here if you want to talk.
You amaze me! My heart aches for you and I am so sorry you have to go through this. You are all in our prayers and I think of you all daily. Sorry you have to suffer alone. I love you bunches!!
The Lord does know your strengths, Carrie. Like Katie, I am amazed with your patience and desire to continue to do what is right even when things don't go your way, which can be so difficult sometimes. I am so sorry that you are going these heart breaking experiences. I am VERY very happy that Addie has YOU as her mommma though, because I really don't know of anyone better for her. You are a truly amazing mom and sacrifice so much for your family. I am always amazed when I come over and when I spend time with you just how devoted you are to your family. Hang in there. The Lord DOES know you, and all of your righteous desires. I love you. :)
I am so sorry, Carrie. My heart breaks for your family.
I love you and pray that your wishes will come true!
Oh this makes my heart hurt for you & your family. i love you dearest.
Oh, Carrie, Carrie! Holding the tears IN my eyes so they don't fall down..my heart aches for you. You literally amaze me all the time! You are SUCH a wonderful lady and I am so privileged to know you and associate with you! I have no idea of the feelings you go through all the time as you try and try and try to have another sweet little miracle bless your family and home but my heart goes out to you! Anytime I think about getting pregnant again I get scared about miscarrying..after my miscarriage in June of 2010. I was so hesitant to let myself become excited and hopeful when I found out I was expecting again (Kyle)..I didn't want my hopes to be dashed again. YOU ARE WONDERFUL!! I have know idea why life happens as it does and I don't have a clue what Heavenly Father has in store for you or what you're supposed to be learning from this trial but I DO KNOW that HE LOVES YOU so very much! And I know that our Savior knows exactly what you feel and go through.. I'm so grateful to know you and I love getting together with you! You radiate happiness and the Spirit. You are such a light and sunshiney person! Keep up that light..you are loved so much by so many, girl!
Sorry for the novel... :]
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