Sunday, October 26, 2008
Any advice would be great...
I don't mean to be Debbie Downer but Gloria's( my mom in law) dog is dying and has been for a bit now. Addie LOVES LOVES this dog and talks about her all the time. She has taken a huge turn for the worse and Glor feels that it would be best to put her down tomorrow evening. My question is how do I explain this to Addie ? We have been trying to tell her that she is very sick and isn't doing well. Addie just doesn't get it. She asked tonight if Aspen was doing better. I don't want to tell her she went to sleep and didn't wake up cause then she'll think that when people go to sleep they won't wake up....PLEASE PLEASE help me. Anything at all would help. We are going to have to explain this to her in the next day or so. Thanks
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3 comments:
You might try this book: When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers
I haven't read it but a friend told me about it when their cat died. It may be worth checking out at the library to see for yourself... Hope this helps. These are the kind of things you never want to have to tell a child. Let me know if this helped at all. I am curious about the book.
Carrie, I got to watch one day while a pre-school director explained to the class that their classroom pet, a rabbit, had died overnight.
Kids are remarkable, once we tell them, they are full of innocent questions- they haven't yet figured out that death is kind of a 'taboo' topic for some.
You simply tell them you have some news. That the pet got sick, couldn't get well, the vet couldn't help it get better, but tried, and that it died.
Then ask if she has any questions. They usually want to know what happened, like 'you mean it doesn't run anymore, or eat anymore, or I won't be able to see it again? The normal reaction, when they get their questions answered is to say 'oh, o.k'. Then they go about their regular play.
We, as adults sometimes make it worse cause they sense we are uneasy about it.
Ask her after telling her, how she feels and then however she feels, tell her you are sad too, and that it is o.k.
Sometimes a picture helps.
Parents also don't replace the pet too soon. They say, "when you are ready to take care of and love somebody as much as you did, (aspen) then we can talk about, getting another pet.
hope it helps.
love ya, Callie
I know this post is fairly old but I just wanted to share some insight. Mikayla was 3 when my cat died. Mikayla was very close to my cat, Pickles. Pickles was very old and just started withering away, not eating and fairly soon after not even moving for hours at a time. Pickles died one day while Mikayla was at daycare and I was at work. When Mikayla got home, I explained to her that pets sometimes get very old and their bodies don't work the same. I kept reiterating the "very old" and how she had lived a "long and happy life". She never cried but she did say she was sad. So, to help her since she didn't get a chance to say goodbye, we made her a goodbye card and Mikayla drew pictures in it. Then we "mailed" it to her in heaven, the special place where she lives now. Mikayla doesn't remember her much anymore, except when she is reminded of her by photos. I hope everything went well with explaining it to Addie.
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